


Stag Night

by Neroro



Category: One Piece
Genre: Drinking, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-23 18:36:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8338333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neroro/pseuds/Neroro
Summary: Sanji spends an evening with his brothers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Written September 2016.
> 
> Warning for homophobic slur towards the end just a heads up.
> 
> English is not my first language so please bear with any language mistakes you might find.

Sanji can't say he doesn't appreciate the quality of the burgundy drops swirling in the glass before him, though he'd much rather be drinking cheap ale onboard the Thousand Sunny with his friends, with his _real_ family, than to be sitting here with his brothers, downing thousands and thousands of berries worth of red wine. 

He lights his sixth cigarette that night. The air is already heavy with smoke, as it seems both Ichiji and Niji have picked up the same habit. Yonji is next to him, leaned back heavily against the plush cushions of the too extravagant sofa, while Niji is in the armchair to the left of Sanji, the drink in his hand seemingly forgotten in favour of staring at the ceiling.

Ichiji watches from the other side of the coffee table, legs crossed and cigarette between his fingers in what seems to be a mock impression of Sanji's own posture but is probably just the result of near identical genetics. Sanji downs the rest of the wine in his glass and sets it on the table.

"What're you thinking about?"

Sanji's eyebrows lift slightly in surprise, Ichiji isn't one for small talk. Sanji sucks in a thoughtful lungful of smoke.

"Just how incredibly idiotic you look wearing sunglasses indoors in the middle of the night"

Yonji barks out a laugh but is interrupted as Ichiji uses his legs to push the coffee table towards Sanji, slamming it against the sofa and Yonji's legs. Sanji can't help the slight smirk that tugs at the corners of his mouth as he sits with his legs safely folded against himself, fast reflexes saving them from the brother's attack.

"Oi, Ichi! I'm here too!!" Yonji yells and kicks the table back towards the first son, making wine spill everywhere.

Ichiji easily stops the table with his foot. "Like I care"

Yonji sulks and looks at mess on the table, then barks orders for the maid stationed outside the door to come clean it up and bring more drinks. She enters, uniform short and revealing 'for the occasion', and starts clearing off the table. 

Sanji's eyes wander a little and he swallows guiltily as he feels heat rise to his face, allowing himself to look for just a few seconds before averting his gaze to the cigarette between his fingers instead.

A loud smack sounds through the room and Sanji whips his head around just in time to see Yonji's self-satisfied grin and the maid's embarrassed frustration as the prince's hand slowly retracts from her rear. Sanji doesn't hesitate to grab his collar and yank him closer, snarling at him to apoligize to the girl, earning him a two frowns and a look of surprise.

Yonji puts a hand to Sanji's face and tries to shove him away while the maid continues to clean, awkwardly leaning over the table to reach a wine-filled ashtray. Sanji gives up his scuffle with Yonji in favour of picking it up for her and muttering a soft 'sorry about him' as he places it on her serving tray.

The maid straightens and bows her head lightly.

"I will bring a clean one right away"

"No need" Sanji says, gesturing to the remaining mostly empty ashtray in the middle of the table.

"Bring two" says Ichiji. Sanji gives him a look, but rather than talking back to his brother he gets up on unsteady feet and follows the maid to the door instead.

"D-Do you need anything else, Master Sanji?"

Sanji shakes his head, depositing the butt of his cigarette into the wet ashtray and lighting a seventh. 

"Just show me where the booze is and I'll…" he gestures vaguely towards the door and the maid looks at him for a second before nodding slightly and leading him to his desired destination.

"Again, I'm sorry about… them", Sanji's speech is a little slurred but the sentiment is real and the maid gives him a small smile.

"It's alright, Master Sanji, but… thank you", she places a couple of bottles and two clean ashtrays onto a serving tray and gives it to Sanji.

"Are you sure it's okay for you to… maybe I should-"

"Don't worry, I'll deal with them. Thank you, miss" he flashes her a smile, his first genuine one in weeks, tray balanced skillfully in one hand as he bows before her, making her eyes widen and heat creep up her cheeks.

"It- it's no trouble"

-

"Here's your fucking ashtray" Sanji sets the solid glass bowl down a little harder than neccessary in front of Ichiji, who simply leans forward and flicks his ashes into it.

Sanji sits down heavily in his spot next to Yonji and grabs a fresh bottle of vintage red wine, years of experience allowing him to uncork it easily despite his muddled brain. He throws his head back and lets the expensive drops wash down his throat.

He really misses his crew.

-

Some stag night this is. 

Sanji has no idea what time it is. He has no idea how much he's had to drink either. Yonji seems to have finally succeeded in picking a fight with Ichiji after ten consecutive minutes of yelling and slamming his fist on the table, complaining about nothing and everything and breaking several glasses in the process. 

If Sanji wasn't so drunk he'd probably be a little more disturbed watching the shards of glass lodge themselves into his brother's hand, though if he's honest with himself he really isn't too surprised by the fact that it doesn't seem to bother the younger Vinsmoke. He has plenty of not so fond memories of the brutish brat acting as a battering ram under the command of their older brother, apparently feeling no pain no matter how many times he ran Sanji into the wall.

The proud Commander Ichiji Vinsmoke is on the table, feet apart and planted solidly on the wooden surface as he berates Yonji for talking to him like that. Well, that's probably what he's doing, Sanji stopped listening to his high and mighty bullshit about three seconds after the two started fighting.

He really, really misses his crew.

"They always get like that when they drink"

Sanji's head rolls sluggishly along the back of the sofa as he turns his attention to Niji, who seems to finally have risen from whatever the fuck he's been doing over in that armchair for the past few hours.

Niji fumbles for the bottle in Sanji's hand and Sanji, being the kind and helpful soul that he is, hands it to him. Niji takes a swig and spills half of it down his shirt, Sanji looks at him looking at the bottle in his hand, half expecting him to throw it like the brat that he is but instead he just brings the bottle closer to his face as if to read the label.

"OH SHIT HE'S WOKE!!"

Yonji comes over, sweaty and red-faced from too much yelling and way too much alcohol. His hair is a complete mess from his fight with Ichiji, though from what Sanji caught of it, Yonji did most of that himself while Ichiji kept his position of superiority on top of the coffee table.

"You have to see this, Snaji, it's the fucking funniest thing"

Yonji grins, face alight with mischief rather than malice and Sanji feels something tug at the empty spaces inside of him, a hint of what they could have had, what they could have been if his family wasn't a bunch of fucking tyrants.

He needs to see Luffy again.

Niji takes a step back.

"Fuck off, Yonji"

Yonji moves closer, his coordination marginally better than Niji's as he reaches for his goggles and succeeds in pulling them off before his brother manages to put up much of a fight.

His eyes are red. His eyes are bloodshot and wet and unfocused and Sanji stares and Yonji laughs. Niji puts his hands on the armrest for support and groans softly.

"You look like shit" Ichiji informs unhelpfully from his coffee table piedestal.

"Just… shut up…" Niji swats at Sanji's face and misses, though it still makes Sanji raise a leg slightly in defense.

Yonji barks his stupid-ass laugh way too close to Sanji's ear and puts on Niji's goggles, looking like an idiot with two pairs of headphones on.

"He can't see shit without these"

"Like I… want to look at your ugly-ass face anyway"

"We have the same face, asshat"

"Ugh…" Niji crouches and buries his face in the armrest. Sanji lights himself another cigarette.

Ichiji comes over, glasses and bottles falling over and spilling onto the floor as he walks across the table.

"He's usually more fun than this"

Sanji looks at him cautiously as he sits down on the edge of the table, eyes widening in alarm when Ichiji reaches forward, slender fingers wrapping around his wrist and pulling his hand closer. Ichiji leans in and flicks on the lighter in Sanji's hand, tilting his head down to light the cigarette between his lips and Sanji can feel himself break into a cold sweat as he meets Ichiji's eyes through his dark glasses. 

Ichiji straightens and Sanji releases a breath he wasn't aware he'd been holding.

"Hey…" Ichiji pokes Niji in the leg with his foot, then takes a long drag off his cigarette when he doesn't respond. Sanji watches Yonji glance at Ichiji before settling his eyes on Niji. Ichiji kicks him a little harder.

"He's fucking baked" Yonji helpfully informs.

It's weird, seeing that these guys have actual feelings other than hubris and rage and their disgusting greed for power.

"I need to take a piss…" Niji finally mumbles into the armrest and Ichiji blows out a stream of smoke from his nose.

"That's little brother duty"

"Fuck no it isn't!" 

Ichiji is already in the process of leaving and Yonji looks ready to follow him. Sanji looks from Niji to Yonji and back to Niji, then kills his cigarette and stands from the sofa.

"I don't give a shit if he pisses himself, I'm going to bed"

Niji slowly pulls himself up into a semi-standing position and tries and fails to get his glasses back from Yonji. He sighs and starts staggering towards the bathroom holding onto the back of the sofa for support.

"I almost feel sorry for the maid on cleaning duty tomorrow…"

Sanji turns and looks at Niji trying to remember how to walk. He wouldn't…

"Almost…"

Sanji grits his teeth around the remains of his cigarette and makes to follow Niji. If helping his fucked up brother take a piss is going to save a girl the clean-up work so be it.

Niji turns around.

"Are you gonna watch?" his lips stretch in a grin, eyes closing and eyebrows furrowing in mock disappointment. "Why do you have to be such a faggot, Sanji?"

Yonji laughs.

Nothing has changed.


End file.
